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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine.     January Theme: "Within"     Volume 1 Issue 2     ISSN# 1708-3265

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Aunty Nasty
with Nasturtium Blackwitt PhD. M.E.D., F.D. (Min. H.R.D.F.), Pr. Dip. P.K.C.

Warning: Some readers may find her opinions abrasive, disturbing, or even offensive!

"Who knows what evil lurks within the heart of man?… The Shadow knows."
from "The Shadow" Old North American Radio Program

Oh yes, I also know what evil lurks 'within' you. I know your shadow side. It's my job to know; and quite frankly, it saddens me.

Have you ever thought about why a "nice" person like you enjoys reading this column? Would you even admit to anyone what a charge you get out of all this vicious nastiness?

Well, I'm about to share with you another secret of the analyst's trade. "Nice, good, polite, proper people" - meaning you, of course - vicariously enjoy my words because I speak for your repressed side. Your nasty side. The one all your life you've been trained to choke down and smother.

(Unless, of course, you're suffering from H.C.R.I.S., but more about that later.)

You all know the drill:

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

"You mustn't say what you really think, you'll hurt their feelings."

"You shouldn't say that, it's not politically correct!"

Is it sounding familiar yet?

"Nice people" don't swear, don't use derogatory words to describe something or someone, and don't say what they really think. Oh yes, you might think it, but you run the risk of being shunned by your family, your neighbours, your church, or even your whole town if you dare to actually speak those thoughts out loud.

(Hmmmmm, here's where I give you a pearl of wisdom. Perhaps the answer lies 'within' the idea of changing your thoughts.)

Because the 'acceptable' terminology coined to describe people and situations these days is not only confusing, but also changes so quickly, it's almost impossible to keep up with all the latest 'right words'.

Refer to someone as an Indian (red, not east) and you'd better be prepared to get your running shoes on faster'n you can drop a feather. You are speaking of "First Nations People."

Call a person 'retarded', and you'll get your knuckles soundly rapped as you're reminded they are "intellectually and/or developmentally-challenged-individuals."

And did you know there are no Negroes or black people left in the world? They are now "African-Americans." (or whatever the latest buzz-word happens to be.)

It's easier to remember Japs, Chinks, and slant-eyes are "Persons of Oriental heritage"; but what about all the horrible stereotypical epithets we grew up with, and keep hearing used, about other races?

Let's see… there's "Pommy-bastard", "Bohunk", "Gringo", "Kanuk", "Yankee", "Honkie", "Redneck", "Trailer-trash", "Paki", "Camel-jockey", "Raghead", "Sand-nigger", "Jewboy", "Spick", "Goat-boy", "Kraut", "Polak", "Yuke", "Frog", and of course, the perennial two-handed "Wop." So why are people still using these words? Because, my dears, most people aren't using their brains to think!

There's a disease running rampant on the planet - "Habituated Cranial-Rectal Inversion Syndrome" (or H.C.R.I.S.) Unfortunately it's often genetic; which means, like most bad habits, people teach it to their children. Stop and think a minute… if Cranial describes the brain, and Rectal describes the hole in your backside… well that must mean…

You got it! People are running around with shit-for-brains because their heads are up their behinds! It certainly is an evil sickness, and made so much worse by the transmission from one generation to another!

Y'know, the great bard William Shakespeare really got it. He saw 'within' the hearts of men very clearly, and aptly expressed the pain of being 'different':

(with apologies to William, as we paraphrase Shylock, from "The Merchant of Venice".)

"I am a person, too. Hath I not eyes, hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as you are? If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you tickle me, do I not laugh? If you poison me, do I not die?"

Shakespeare's words, even after five centuries, hauntingly echo the pain of racial intolerance. It was not acceptable then, nor is it now. As a single species, bound to this one planet, how can humanity survive if we can't appreciate we live in a 'globalized village', and so everything we think, say, and do, has enormous repercussions; not only on each other, but on ourselves. Face it. We are our brother's keeper!

Have you been hurt by derogatory and/or racial comments? Or worse, have you used any of these names against someone else? Did you know there's even a scientific study, published in The Boston Globe, (Nov 17th 2003 by Gareth Cook) finally proving beyond a doubt ingrained racist attitudes can actually suck out your brains and make you stupid?

It's time, folks, to start getting nicer. Catch yourself if you even start thinking something nasty. Then, pay attention to what you think. Work from the inside out. Use affirmations, use a rubber band on your wrist if that's what it takes, but start really listening to what you think and say, every moment.

God can't do it for you. I can't do it for you; it's up to you. Yes, you.

So please, clean up your act.

There's just too much nastiness out there!

Ms. Blackwitt is a noted psychologist who specialises in dysfunctional behavioural and abnormal sociological interaction. Her column features insightful commentaries on familial relationships, as viewed from her unique perspective.

Affectionately known as 'Aunty Nasty', amongst her many honours and awards are a Ph. D in 'Mammalian Excretement Dispersal' and a Degree of Familiarity with The Ministry of Human Remains and Dysfunctional Families.

Ms.Blackwitt also served in the Armed Forces on a 6-year tour of duty as a Diplomatic Peace-Keeper in Washington, D.C., during which time she rose to the top of her team, quickly attaining the exalted rank of Private, and was subsequently transferred to Bikini Atoll, (with undisclosed rank) where she gained extensive hands-on experience in Mammalian Excrement.

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