A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. January's Theme: "Our Relationship With Earth"
Volume 3 Issue 2 ISSN# 1708-3265
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The Envelope, Please
May He Be in Peaceful Serenity.
Last January's profile was of a young man. On his last birthday, Oct. 9th, 2004 he turned 14 years old. His name is Sebastian. I have chosen to republish this profile as this was a very personal one for us all.
Sebastian lived with his Dad Darryl, for the last 6 years and his Grandmother Bev joined them this last year. It wasn't a traditional family but it was a close, loving family nonetheless.
Dec. 3rd, 2004 Sebastian ate some potatoes, (his favourite food), and told his Grandma he was going out to meet a girl. Even though his Grandma disagreed with him leaving the house at 11pm, this free spirit went anyway. Jumping on his bike, hormones racing he ventured off into the night.
Unfortunately a few blocks from home; in this small rural town of Agassiz, British Columbia he was hit by a car.
The police came to the house and told Bev, Sebastian's Grandma, they needed her at the hospital.
It's the knock on the door every parent dreads. The one no one wants.
Monday he was pronounced brain dead and a few long hours later, he was taken off the machines. His heart continued to beat for three and a half minutes on it's own before it rested.
Darryl, Sebastian's dad shares, "The hardest part was seeing his body breathing, laying there like he would wake up any moment and knowing, that creative, imaginative child was gone from this world."
Sebastian and his Dad, Darryl were inseparable. Living "out of time" they camped on the beach, ate and slept when they wanted to, hunting bugs and salamanders, fighting and making up. This was their own world and they loved it.
A few years ago, they were at the beach and they had a disagreement. Darryl walked ahead of Sebastian, muttering under his breath about how he wished Sebastian would just shut up. Kicking the sand and looking down, he heard a little voice behind him. It was Sebastian singing while he walked carefully in each of his Dad's footprints. "Old man take a look at your life, I'm a lot like you " (from "Old Man" by Neil Young).
The outpouring of grief, love and support from people young and old has been overwhelming, but in a good way. Darryl has always been a loner, an artistic hermit - and living with Sebastian taught him to open his heart to others and allow them in. Sebastian was the kind of person who could talk to adults, hang with his peers or play "Barbie's" with a little girl who was lonely.
Everyone who spent more than five minutes with Sebastian left with a memory. He wasn't the kind of person you easily forget and with the response from these two communities (Agassiz and Harrison) we can all see just how many people loved him. He touched so many in his short life with his big heart and his even bigger smile. His 'old soul' attitude and master manipulating abilities blended together to help him get and give what was needed. People refer to this as "The Sebastian Experience". It's a very apt way of expressing what it's like to have known him.
Grandma shares: "In the hospital Sunday I came into the room, he opened his eyes and thrust his arms into the air cause he wanted a hug. It's the last lucid moment I was able to share with him but it sums him up, all of him, in that one moment."
Another friend shared, "His gift of never holding grudges is what touched me the deepest. Even if you had a fight with him, he was very forgiving and understanding. A smile would immediately greet you when you saw him next."
His imagination, creativity and knowledge was freely shared with anyone who was interested in listening. As a friend of Sebastian said, "Whatever it was that Sebastian did with you, whatever touched you the deepest about him, when you are doing that, know he is with you, sharing in the moment and Sebastian will live forever."
I know I'll never forget him. His inquisitive mind those eyes and that smile oh that smile they could warm your heart immediately regardless of the mood you were in before you saw him he always made me smile.
Sebastian you will be missed by many, in many different ways thank you for blessing us with your light. It may have been only for a short time, but you have taught so many people how to forgive and love and you will never be forgotten. His Grandma has the above photo in the album she made for Darryl a few years ago. The caption reads, "This is the hand which will touch the world."
This past year has been hard. Experiencing our 'firsts' without Sebastian, but healing is taking place sometimes it feels too slow and other times too fast, but it is happening on it's own time. Having Sebastian in physical form was a habit we didn't want to break. He is missed.
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Any advice given is for informational purposes only.