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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine.  July Theme: "Flow"   Volume 1 Issue 5  ISSN# 1708-3265

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The Flow of Parenting
by Abby Brannstrom

It is 7:12 in the morning and I have nothing to do but clean. I feel like writing. I have nothing real to say, but am writing freely to go with the 'flow'.

ZZ has covered herself in purple marker this morning (I guess that is why I took them away in the first place?). She wedges her head under my typing arms and forces her way into my lap, immediately shoving her hand down my shirt. "Hold Booby" has become her new favourite past time. It gives me the oogies and I remove her hand. She explores my pocket on my night shirt and unwedges herself from my body. Now she climbs on the kitchen counter, likely after marshmallows from the cupboard above... oh, nope... she didn't find what she was looking for.

Why are we awake at this early hour? I am usually still snuggled in my bed, ZZ is usually nursing, but half asleep and I can rest until the alarm on the television goes off at 7:30. I've been up since 6:15 or so. ZZ said, "I have-a pee!" She was dry the night before this last and was dry all day and was dry all night this morning too! I am amazed at the fact that she is, indeed, ready to toilet learn. I've been so lazy about it; halfheartedly committed to potty training her right now. One can't force such a thing (can they?) so I figure, why bother? But there she is, staying dry for over 48 hours. She goes to the potty of her own volition, prefacing it by, "I have-a pee, Mommy!!!" or, "I have-a poop." I give her much credit for persistence, because there have been times I've said, "Yeah, yeah... just go in your pants, you have a diaper on." "NO, Mommy, thaz gross!!" or "NOOOOO Thaz yucky!!!!!!!!!!! No pee unduh-wayah!" So there you go, folks. It is gross and yucky to pee and poo in your underwear. Don't do it!

She has moved off of the cupboard now, and is back in my lap. The granite baking slabs which were leaned against the cupboard fell down and scared her due to the fact one fell on her foot yesterday (POOR BABY!). She's in my lap again, hand down my shirt, "I huht myself, me need a nuhse" "No, baby, nursing is for naptime and bedtime... we're all done for now." "No, mama, me need a nuhse!" She's out of my lap and then back in my lap again, "Mama, keep me safe!" Our newest game, I guess (invented yesterday as she escaped from the imagination monsters who live in our house). She snuggles against me, I hug her tightly, "I keep you safe, baby."

In the time it has taken me to type about the "need a nuhse" and "monster/keep me safe," she has unbuttoned my shirt and is trying not to play with my nipples and trying not to nurse. Neither is she successful at. I stop to redo my shirt and redirect ZZ. Redirection involves a piece of cheese, which she is now eating in my lap.

Most mornings are not spent so attached to one another. Usually she is quite content to busy herself in the living room, watching CBC shows and making up this or that game. But today is different because it is so early.

J woke up shortly after ZZ and I did. He's playing a Lord of the Rings video game on the play station. He's all dressed for school and we'll leave in 45 minutes. Until then, he gets the T.V.

Well, I suppose the alarm on the T.V. is going off in my bedroom right now. It is my husband's birthday and he has taken the day off of work (good for him!). He has asked to be able to sleep in, and that is just fine with me.

I'll be going out for coffee at 9:30 with some friends from a parenting group I met before Christmas; it will be good to see them again.

I have promised J I would make the infamous "Snicker Salad" for his Chinese school celebration tomorrow evening (snicker salad is 3 snickers bars chopped up and mixed into coolwhip and apples...and bananas??...a very sickly sweet "fruit" salad). It's apparent the dishes need not be chinese, but Snicker Salad??? Whatever. Kids like that sort of thing, and it's all about the kids tomorrow night. J is going to be the Happy Man in part of the show. He's terribly excited and has been skipping his long lunchtime recesses in order to practice...totally of his own volition too.

ZZ is back in my lap. Yes, she left for a bit. She dragged in an afghan and a pillow and is now wrapped snugly in my lap with her head on a pillow...in my lap.

I must end this now. I realise it will just go on and on and on in this same vein until 8:10 rolls around and we have to get out the door (J prefers to go to the breakfast program at school, so we bring him early). Well, I guess first I need to get dressed, and ZZ needs to get dressed, and I have to make the Carnation (oy vey...yes, I go to LLL AND I still use Nestle products...bad me) Instant Breakfast drink for J's lunch (he finds it much easier to drink at lunch rather than eat...so meal replacement shake it is...sigh).

The boy queries as to what I'm doing. What am I doing?

And thus ends the writing of Abby.

Abby Brannstrom grew up in Minnesota but now currently resides in Vancouver, British Columbia. She obtained her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology at the University of MN. Abby is a stay at home mama to three amazing children and life partner to a likeminded soul. She enjoys chatting with other attachment mamas and cooking, but first and foremost she loves being a mommy. Abby is eclectic in all her choices - choosing what feels right one day at a time for the greatest good of her family and self.

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