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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. July's Theme: "Risibility"
Volume 9 Issue 5 ISSN# 1708-3265



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 		Po and the Stones
~ More Than Patience ~
with Phil Kotofskie

On my healing journey, what has been most frustrating is the way I appear to have healed an issue, only to have it return. Although I understood that we allow healing only to the extent in which we are ready, I so wanted a one-stop healing process. Occasionally I experienced rapid, even instantaneous healing, especially for physical injuries. However, for the most part inner issues rose repeatedly both for others and me on our journeys to balance.

Part of the reason issues return is our not seeing the way we create challenges. Unconsciously living out of balance allows only temporary healing. For example, we may initiate communication in ways learned as a child. An early habit of mine was to walk up and say, "Hey," followed by whatever I needed to talk about. Back when I was twenty or so, a friend recoiled when I approached her like this. Another friend standing with us said, "You like that about Phil too?" and laughed. I laughed along, but I was shocked at this revelation. Why had nobody told me? I adopted this habit without question from my maternal grandfather, my childhood hero. Now I wondered how I could have missed the overall effect. I began to watch myself.

Our readiness to heal is another aspect of returning issues. For me, healing has always required a willingness to change. Be it a concept, habit or cherished belief, some aspect of my worldview and behaviour has changed prior to lasting healing. Our deep, non-volitional wisdom guides our healing progress. When we want to heal and follow through by remaining attentive to inner guidance, our inner wisdom guides us into healing. My respect for this process grows steadily as yet another discordant concept fades from my awareness. (Discomfort signals discord in oneself and others. A relative lack of discord is how cats and dogs sleep soundly in positions that would leave most humans bruised and cramped, if not enroute to a hospital.) I'm not so sure that time heals, but healing usually takes time.

What if we rush the healing process at a person's request? No problem. The subject will recreate his or her treasured issues! Step back for a wider perspective and this dance begins to look quite funny. Many times while helping someone I have felt an issue balanced, only to have the person report temporary relief. Although the issue often manifests with reduced intensity, the return can make healing feel like an endless merry-go-round. Years ago I experienced a heart opening that completely balanced me. Incredible! I offered to do whatever needed to be done in order to help clean up our world. Then, feeling that I already walked an optimal path, I returned to my life, inadvertently creating much of my gunk anew. It's not that healing cannot be accelerated. It's just that in order for such healing to succeed, we must heed inner cues.

In my case, I'm glad I trusted the strong feeling that my path was optimal. Everyday life is the challenge we all face, which is why I made no radical life shift. Although I have helped with the big picture, my primary work turned out to be me, to be healed repeatedly over a span of time. Almost seventeen years later, I'm still at it. Given my bodily memory of completely healing overnight, my seventeen-year walk looks ridiculous! And wonderful. I have experienced healing of the same issues from multiple perspectives, in many ways: In many lives.

Although that may seem a long time, when I see the results in myself, I feel gratitude. My sharp edges have softened, and many have faded from my awareness. I wonder at my lack of reaction inside — an absence of even perturbed thoughts — in situations where I would have gone ballistic years ago. As a result, life has become a joy (and funny), regardless of the work I do, how people treat me, whether I can obtain a desired item, where I live, etc.

Persistent inner issues have taught me patience, but the balm which continues to soften my steps, gentle my tongue, is my ability and inclination to laugh. Harmonious changes in all areas of my perspective and being assure me that if I continue my healing process, I will once again heal completely. Any of us can.

Reactions and desires often signal avoidance of the inner work I so love to do. But knowing that does not change the process. When I feel my body tense in reaction to a situation, I know that I need to work through similar experiences until I lose my holds—judgments—of such. C'mon, watch those thoughts. Feel, I remind myself thousands of times. As I have shared in many articles, I do not try to control thoughts. I just notice thoughts and my bodily reactions to them. Both before and after my heart opening, that's what I've done. Patience helps, as you know if you've tried watching thoughts and feeling, but remember to laugh at yourself. You really are a hoot!

I laughed when I saw that my inner self provided my "one-stop" healing method years before I asked. Perhaps I should call it a "one-step" healing method. The first time it took about nine years until my heart opening. I had no idea such a thing was possible. I worked on myself as best I could and continue to do so. When concepts fade now, I understand how they served me and feel them gradually fade away for good. Their place has been filled by the real me! That's the magic of working on oneself continually.

Nothing is lost, by the way. The concepts we treasure mask our true nature. I have always felt more complete and better about myself with the passing of each habitual thought and action. We are so much, so rich with countless physical life experiences and beyond. Yes. That's you!

Our continually renewing issues hold a surprise. Don't worry. Knowing about the surprise won't spoil it. Happy diversions ride the healing merry-go-round, ready to play anytime. Yet the treasured pursuits we use to avoid issues remain after the dust has cleared and we have balanced. Leaving us where we started—with plenty of time to play.


Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path.

Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?"

Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Popurrie and the Stones and can be contacted via email.

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