Timeless Spirit Logo     AUNTY NASTY

A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. March's Theme: "Communication"
Volume 2 Issue 3 ISSN# 1708-3265

Index Meet Our Staff Free Subscription Donations Come Shopping Advertising Archived Issues


Aunty Nasty
with Nasturtium Blackwitt PhD. M.E.D., F.D. (Min. H.R.D.F.), Pr. Dip. P.K.C.

Warning: Some readers may find her opinions abrasive, disturbing, or even offensive!

Dear Mother Earth,

Lately I've been wondering about Your sanity (or possible lack thereof), with this earthquake and tsunami thing You've allowed to happen.

Are You pissed off at some of us? Any of us? All of us?

The way I understood it, You are supposed to be our ever-loving Mother who cares for us all so deeply, no matter what we do or say, and always provides for all our needs.

Are You listening? Do You give a hoot? Or have You gone off on a vacation and don't give a damn about Your children left at home alone? Oh, I get it… You think we're grown up enough to know what we're doing.

Well, yes, I can see how You might be a tad annoyed at what some people have been doing to Your soil - what with all the nuclear waste buried in old mineshafts, and yes, I can imagine You would be rather miffed at so many of Your animal and bird species going extinct because of our over-hunting and trophy-taking…

And yes, I can even visualise You becoming ticked at our dashing off to outer space to explore other planets before we've even plumbed the depths of Your own magnificent oceans here on Earth… (we didn't kill Jacques Cousteau to stop him, he died of old age, honestly…) Incidentally, did You know our clever species invested billions of dollars to successfully put a remote-controlled little wheely-thing on another planet to determine if there ever was water on Mars? Did You ever give us any credit for that achievement? Not.

And this acid-rain thing - is this some kind of practical joke on Your part? Or do You actually expect us to believe we caused it because of all the toxic fumes wafting into the air from all those gas-guzzling SUV's we love to drive?

Or do You want us to think it's because of all the burning of Your precious fossil fuels we absolutely have to do to run the factories to produce all the goodies we really need in order to live decently?

And another thing that's most unfair - You did warn all the animals, fishes, and bird-life, didn't You? Obviously, You did, because none of them got caught in the tsunami and drowned. Aaahhh, I get it… They were listening, and we were not? Is that it?

Are You trying to get a message through our "Mankind rules the world" mentality and let us know it just ain't so? Do You mean, Man is not the superior species?

Come off it - do You actually expect us to believe such nonsense?

I mean, really, Mother, what's with You? Just because You've been sending "messages" through all those so-called "psychics" and "prophets" warning our magnificent, technologically superior society of dire consequences unless we reform our wicked, wasteful ways and smarten up; did You really think we took You seriously?

Besides, we're just too busy sitting in our recliners with a freshly-brewed cappuccino watching our giant screen high-definition plasma TV's with the option of instant replay to be paying attention to all these "doom-and-gloom" scenarios. After all, aren't we being punished enough?… there's no NHL hockey!

But we all know the drill. Mothers always say "clean up your room or else" and then they give in and end up cleaning it for us!

Otherwise they'd have to come through with the "or else", and punish us by taking away all the stuff we've left lying around on the floor - to let us know they really mean it…

Oh… OH… I think it's starting to make sense…

*running to clean her room (and her own backyard)*,
Aunty Nasty

Ms. Blackwitt is a noted psychologist who specialises in dysfunctional behavioural and abnormal sociological interaction. Her column features insightful commentaries on familial relationships, as viewed from her unique perspective.

Affectionately known as 'Aunty Nasty', amongst her many honours and awards are a Ph. D in 'Mammalian Excretement Dispersal' and a Degree of Familiarity with The Ministry of Human Remains and Dysfunctional Families.

Ms.Blackwitt also served in the Armed Forces on a 6-year tour of duty as a Diplomatic Peace-Keeper in Washington, D.C., during which time she rose to the top of her team, quickly attaining the exalted rank of Private, and was subsequently transferred to Bikini Atoll, (with undisclosed rank) where she gained extensive hands-on experience in Mammalian Excrement.

Copyright (c) 2005 by Timeless Spirit Magazine. All articles are the copyright of the particular writers and cannot be reprinted without their expressed permission. All rights reserved. International copyright laws prohibit reproduction of or distribution of this page by any means whatsoever, electronic or otherwise, without first obtaining the written permission of the copyright holder. We retain legal counsel to protect our copyrights.

Any advice given is for informational purposes only.