Timeless Spirit Logo ARTICLE

A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. March's Theme: "Movement"
Volume 3 Issue 3 ISSN# 1708-3265
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by David Reber

Pull myself together Gonna put on my new best shades Climb down from the hilltop baby Lord get back in the race
- Molly Hatchet

Ran into a couple people I went to college with recently. I remember the gentleman very well even though it's been about fifteen years since last we ran together. I also remember his wife often getting caught up in our many schemes and projects. If marriage is understanding, then she is an angel. We had a great time reminiscing… Wow, our lives were different then! The thrill of having several extensive group projects going all at once as well as the thrill of meeting those deadlines with gleaming bicuspids and a wink for panache. Our lives really had movement back then!

Back in college, I was an English/Writing major with a minor in Communications. In three months I wrote, co-directed, and co-produced a weekly college access television show with the above gentleman; published two short stories and an argumentative essay; then wrote an historical essay on the Three-Rivers area which aired on PBS (Public Broadcasting Service). All this was on top of my normal class load. Somewhere in there I was even able to wedge in a reading of two of my stories during a cultural festival in Ottawa, which resulted in a standing ovation and a tattoo. Unfortunately all the cool things above paid in college credit, not money, so I had to bartend to support the academic monkey on my back. No complaints though, all of this was delivered with a wink for the ladies, a shared joke with the men, and a hearty "Waa-ha! even the Duke himself would be jealous of. Life was so exciting back then! It moved! So what was I lacking?

Sleep? Definitely. Money? Most assuredly. But I am referring here to something quite a bit deeper… Back then, I lacked fear.

It seems, now looking at middle age, as though everyone around me just compensates for a constant bit of fear in their lives. For example, one couple I know have very deep-seated control issues. Their home is immaculate and they do not invite others over. To invite people in inevitably makes things out of place. No longer do they experience the joy of hosting others in their home, and because of this they do not get invited anywhere anymore. Their well-controlled, self-limited, four-walled, little lives are static.

Then of course there are people that don't get out of bed, the ones too afraid to face their lives. Or, if they do rise, they spend all day never quite "waking up." As the sun is going down they are still having their wake up coffee or their eightieth cigarette before even so much as washing, let alone getting to anything important. Definitely no movement there.

Also there are those who mean well, the ones who delude themselves into preparing for the future. They that constantly ask "What if?" These are the ones who don't allow themselves to feel good, or enjoy the moment. Once things start to get nice they immediately look for how it could go wrong. "What if such-and-such happens?" Questions like this inevitably lead to some form of the final question, "What if I fail?" These people are so worried about what may not even happen they miss what is happening. They actually talk themselves into being afraid; into not enjoying their life fully; into no movement at all.

So now, after all this, we come to my New Year's resolution from a year ago. I did not want to be afraid anymore, did not want to be like those people I knew above. And the result… Life has become so good!

Granted I am not yet back to the joie de vivre I had back when I was immortal, but I can see it. So many great things have happened now - my life has movement again. I have community-wide recognition professionally and now, since I attack each day rather than just ride it out, I've even lost some weight. I am actually working out again! Three inches are gone from my waist (it was four, but I indulged a bit these last holidays) and gained two inches on my arms, neck, and chest (48a-39-39, I get my hips from my mother's side). Spiritually I would say I am stronger too, that facet actually started to get its polish first. Just the decision not to be afraid opened many doors in the spiritual arena. Shoot, even my love life has reached heights I did not think was possible!

To say deciding not to be afraid has opened many doors for me is not entirely accurate. The doors were already there, and wide open. In a head-down, fearful life I did not look around to see the opportunities which existed. Probably the biggest of hurdles was actually going through them. Honestly, not all of them worked out, some of those new doorways failed miserably. As with all things though, it is important to try try again. It is too easy to half-assed attempt once and then say, "See, told you so!" That is not working past fear; that is a coward's way of trying to appear in control without actual effort.

One interesting thing came of jumping through those doors where I failed miserably; on the other side were more chances and opportunities which never would have presented themselves had I not taken the original chance. Great things I never considered! Failed or not, it was still forward. So a few doors led to a few more doors, led to a few more doors, ad infinitum. First movement and now momentum! It's as though (dare I say it?) there's a bigger plan for me!

So who's with me? If you are, don't nod your head, don't even show your hand. Stand up though. Close your hands into loose fists and place them akimbo. Widen your stance. Put on some daring music if you want (it helps), maybe turn on a fan to get that "wind in the hair" feel. Then inhale deeply, puff out your chest. Stare directly at your own personal fear. Lift your face, and widely grin…

Now turn your head. What comes now should not be taken on the chin, but with a stunning profile cut.

Hello, my name is David Reber and I currently reside in Northern Indiana. Aside from my day job of working with children, I enjoy the seclusion of my little white home in the woods. There I am afforded the quiet comfort to pursue a bit of archery and fishing along with the occasional hack attempt at writing.

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