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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. March's Theme: "Impermanence"
Volume 6 Issue 3 ISSN# 1708-3265



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Friendly Impermanence
by Phil Kotofskie

Change is a permanent feature of our impermanent existence. We can count on it, rely on it and refer to it. With each breath, we experience a fresh version of Reality. If we relax and enjoy life, change creates surprises. If we resist and fight life, change creates crises. The difference between "surprises" and "crises" is how we think about change.

How do you regard change? If your car broke down? If you became ill? If you won the lottery? How about death? Now we're talking. That's the big change we face one day. On our death day we simply die. It doesn't take an advanced college degree, study or effort. We all know how to die, how to end this particular physical manifestation.

But how do we live comfortably as temporary beings—isn't that the question? For an expanded, unbiased perspective, let's talk with someone who may live thousands, millions or billions of years. On my lap is a stone who offered to help explore impermanence.

"Hello Friendship." Friendship is a large quartz crystal in our family. First he (the energy feeling masculine to me) flashes a golden rainbow when I look inside. Friendship's quartz body is clear, but filled with phantom layers of earlier growth and with mud and mineral deposits. Many silver veils and rainbows reflect light from within as well. White veils in the tip look like feathers.

Other stones repeatedly fell on Friendship as he grew beneath the earth. All but two impacts are healed. The latest is the chip on his tip where I dropped another stone. Friendship was amused and showed me how the chip aligned perfectly with some other formations—a welcome change from his perspective. I remember now that I heard the name "Chip" when that happened. Recently I heard "Friendship." Friendship combines easily with Chip—Friend-chip.

Stones like to play. Friendship continues to share.

Look first at my surface shine. Feel the water energy, the flowing nature where I have healed impacts from other stones. I allow the change. My water nature gradually smoothes my surface, yet I remain physically altered.

One face polished almost flat by humans shows the bottom of a deep impact mark, the second newest one. Yet he is pushing record keepers up through the smooth surface! Record keepers are triangular-shaped raised or indented formations on some stones. Friendship explains:

As you see from my body, I have chosen to experience multiple impacts with other stones. This is the beauty and harmony of my existence, not imperfection to be hidden.

Friendship's energy fills me—you can feel it too if you'd like. I gaze into him and a huge triangular rainbow flashes from deep within. He has a lot in common with us. We humans bump each other around on a daily basis, creating "contacts" which require healing attention.

Together we can create forms not possible alone. We need each other in order to live a balanced life. We need to be part of our family. In my case this is the Quartz Family and by extension the Stone Family.

Being part of our family opens hearts and trust; this may require some practice. At first it is often easier to become close with a non-human. Usually our issues are with ourselves and other humans, not stones, plants or animals. A stone? It's just a stone! Sure, that's what I thought. However, unawareness of Reality's sentience can work in our favour. It's easier to trust an animal, plant or stone, because they don't seem to hold our hidden human agenda. In addition, experience has shown that some extremely smart non-humans are walking, standing and lying around. Friendship adds:

All physical experience is a gift from my perspective. Each shift in my physical quartz form is a physical record of that experience. The mud and other formations inside display my rich life as a "quartz crystal" as well. Stones are active beneath Earth's surface.

I excuse myself and open the cat door as Popurrie prepares to prowl.

"Woof!" A neighbour dog announces. Big cat prowling! Through the dog, I feel the presence of a large gray tabby.

Popurrie stiffens, gazing intently into the dark yard. Friendship asks to lie next to her, point toward the closed sliding glass door. Po begins to purr as we sit together at the door. She chooses to remain inside. When she was younger, she would have attacked the intruder immediately.

As I look at Friendship lying there pointing toward the closed door, he calls my attention to a message from stone, animals and plants.

Friendship endures and supports us throughout our constantly changing lives. We may choose to meet danger or allow it to pass - our choice flavours the experience. By supporting each other with open hearts, we live our joy together regardless. How do you feel?

"I'm glad Po stayed in for awhile. The cat will move on because he does not belong here. This is not his home. She and I felt this simultaneously and I voiced it to her. Has Po learned to be more tolerant? That is for her to say.

"My body feels warm and relaxed. The energy inside is flowing gently and smoothly. I am at peace. This contrasts sharply with the way I felt during and after Po's cat fights. Thank you Po!"

As Friendship and I write this, Po goes prowling. Later she returns with a smiling, "Meow!" You got it!

"Yes! Thank you Po. Message received and shared."

Yes, our friendship endures! Popurrie, Friendship and I are friends in countless lives. We feel it and we are it. No matter which roles we play in a given life, beneath it all we remain friends. Friendship is a permanent feature of our impermanence.


Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path.

Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?"

Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Popurrie and the Stones and can be contacted via email.



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