A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. March's Theme: "Action and Inaction"
Volume 7 Issue 3 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Illuminations Aleesha Stephenson About the Cover Gary Haggquist Doing and Not Doing Phil Kotofskie Action or Inaction? David Reber Taking Action Pam Dibbern Letters Alegria Imperial Sunshine and Rainbows Dj Brown It's All About the Balance Point Rev. Cheryl Jewett Avatar offers loads of fun with a green message David Suzuki PhD Lifetalks Dawn Baumann Brunke Walk Your Talk Aleesha Stephenson Wiccan Voices Crystal Blanton, HPs Being Mindful Janet Alston Jackson Pet-sense Jean Hofve DVM Life in the Raw Nicola Watt Meditate a Moment Featuring: Aleesha Stephenson Cards & Curios Tarot Deck Reviews: with Dan Pelletier Archived Reviews All of T.S.M.'s Reviews

Doing and Not Doing by Phil Kotofskie Should we act or not? Moment-by-moment we choose. The short answer for me: Trust inner guidance. When we set rules regarding doing and not doing, we often take ourselves out of life's flow. Everything happens now. For example, one day I decided to stop drinking sodas: "Phil will not drink soda." I quit, then started again. After years of alternation, I thought, "Okay, if I want to drink sodas, I'll drink sodas." Rather than avoiding soda, I drank it or didn't according to how I felt at the moment. I noticed that an anxious feeling always preceded my soda drinking. Holding a glass of soda, I smelled it as if for the first time. My body recoiled from the smell. Rather than toss the soda and continue the endless cycle with "Phil will not drink soda," I decided to follow through. The soda made my teeth feel sticky and numb. Harsh sweetness and carbonation overwhelmed my taste buds. Unpleasant aftertaste remained. I was still thirsty. "Why drink something that irritates my body and leaves me thirsty?" I thought. Drinking sodas—a form of doing—masked underlying discomfort during pauses in daily life. After two soda-drinking cycles I lost interest. One day I noticed I no longer drank sodas, nor did I want to. Nowadays I rarely drink soda, but not due to any beliefs or bans. With my knowing and sensing the experience, I enjoy a soda and it's over. More importantly, I learned how habits can fade through attentively experiencing them. As a bonus, I have more time for activities I truly enjoy, like lying in the sun with Popurrie (our resident cat) or playing music. Remember those childhood dreams and passions? Perhaps they lie dormant awaiting rediscovery. Resting (being) in a habitual action quickens change. Intangible habits, such as frequent anger, irrational fear and indecisiveness, respond to the same attentiveness and bodily experience. Habits and impulses that would harm oneself or others belong here as well. We can work with our thoughts and bodily responses as if what we imagine actually happens; our bodies regard all thoughts as real. However, working with non-physical action and inaction takes practice. Most of us occasionally lie awake unable to sleep, plagued by restless thoughts. Being can soothe restlessness, so what can we do… to be? We can take a friendly stone to bed, relax and open to the stone's soothing energy. But what's keeping us awake? Our obsessing over people and situations causes tension. In order to remain irritated—an unpleasant state of being—we must numb ourselves to love. By love I mean the love we are, not love that can be denied us. Since we are being after all, being irritated, let's accept irritation's gift. True, with practice we can halt irritation by stopping our internal dialog. However, the confusion underlying irritation continues unconsciously. In order to be at peace, we need to work with those thoughts and the body's response. The first step is to notice irritation. As anger fantasies become our world, we ignore physical sensations other than discomfort. Nowadays I usually notice myself stuck in "anger swirls" as I call them. When I notice particularly juicy anger fantasies holding my attention, I'll ask myself, "What is my body doing?" Attentive to my body, I feel my muscles tense with anger; I'm miserable and restless for the umpteenth time. Thoughts of being threatened signal my body to stand ready for combat or escape, but remembering my body—physical reality— interrupts the anger fantasies. Now we're getting somewhere. Hard-wired for love, our bodies want to be healthy and have fun. Given the chance, our bodies naturally become peaceful and loving. I remain focused on my body. Allowing my attention to rest in bodily tension—discomfort—my muscles relax slightly. The tension often moves. As I follow and rest in discomfort wherever I feel it, my muscles continue to relax. I remember how we all carry confusion, fear and anger, our "ball and chain." The more I relax, the more my body tingles with pleasant sensations. I feel compassion for the object of my anger. With my thoughts returned to physical reality, I drift off to sleep. Peace returns quickly as we learn to trust our bodies. If I return to the imaginary fight, I've really closed myself to love and our mostly forgotten universal friendship. Irritation offers another gift, a reminder of love. Lying awake, I speak to my bodily tension and its causes. "I love you," I say, alert for my body's response. As the tension moves, I follow it. That's my resistance to love physically manifested. "I love you," I say, feeling my muscles relax slightly… or not. Even when tension remains or increases, I persist. Anger and other distressing emotions always respond to constant loving attention. Extreme anger may take years of work. (You'll surely sleep before the end of that project!) Sometimes I go through my body and tell each part that I love it. I usually end up laughing at my silly anger, then waking up in the morning after a good night's rest. Sending love to the objects of our anger, whether in life, dreams or imagination, also helps dissipate anger. Not wanting to send love is once again our resistance to love. Our resistance plays the same line over and over like a stuck recording. Fortunately, compassion grows as we embrace the challenge by opening to love at the thought of our antagonists. Most important: love yourself. After all, the person creating our anger fantasies needs love most of all. That's you and me. Then we can love others. Speaking of love, I always thank my habits—my quirks—for letting me know when I'm not paying attention. Like trusted old friends, habits show when we are not present, neither being nor doing. Now that you're feeling love, maybe play with a stone, pet your animal, or hug your partner. Love can be habit forming. Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path. Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?" Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Popurrie and the Stones and can be contacted via email.

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