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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine.     May Theme: "Roots"     Volume 1 Issue 4     ISSN# 1708-3265

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Grounded Parenting
by Annie Parry

It is not easy to stay grounded in this life. This is not a news flash for most people - especially anyone with children or who has ever been a child. With so many inter-related and moving parts to our lives and our multi-dimensional universe, it is no wonder we are often thrown off into issues and directions we didn't see coming. Perhaps our very lives are the macrocosmic tangential metaphor of everything… Life is profound and wonderful if we can only remember and access what is important.

As a parent I have evolved over the last 15 years. Sometimes I am astonished by how much my perspective, approaches and priorities have changed during these busy years. When my first daughter was born from heaven, every moment was perfect. Her future was full of the potential for perfection in all ways. I dreamed of all the things I could share and would teach her, all the places she would visit and love as I had, all the great books, great causes and delights, which awaited her. She/we are all still 'perfect'; but, I have changed my definition of what 'perfect' is.

Our children do not belong to us. As well, it is often they who are to be our teachers, not the other way around! Somewhere along the years of our path together, likely after my second daughter was born, I began to realize it is impossible and probably wrong for me to try and teach my children 'who' and 'how' to be.

Now I think, as a parent, I am merely a steward and guide along their life journey, as they are in turn for me. It is not for me to control all of the lessons my children learn but it is for me to help them be well prepared and eager to do their best on their life journey.

Knowing this, the world with all of its wonders and dangers can be overwhelming; and as parents we might soon lose the attention of our children, we (their father and I) decided to distil and teach the essence of what we believed necessary for them to live a successful and fulfilled life. This foundation would prove to be grounding for all of us and provide a solid place for the girls to leap off from, as they set about exploring their lives.

Parents can unload so much onto our precious children - and we risk burying their imaginations, longings, awakenings and confidence. Instead, my job is to help ground my girls by modelling how to act with kindness and caring for themselves, others and the planet. In each moment there is the potential for making a choice, which leads each of us, closer to becoming who we truly are. Every time someone makes a decision they are moving towards the future they are actively creating for themselves. As well, every time someone needs to make adjustments to their choices in order to bring their lives back into harmony, they are learning and growing new 'roots'. As our lives unfold, it is all perfect.

So far, we have been lucky with our daughters. Both girls, who are in their early teens, still talk freely to us, and are loving, creative, lively, bright, happy, compassionate and kind human beings. I am infinitely proud of them and the way they have already faced more than their share of challenges and disappointments. They are growing up to be courageous and powerful women, a fact I remind them of everyday. My daughters are not "popular" or part of the "in crowd" and as painful as this was for all of us in their earlier social ventures, this reality is now clearly a blessing.

Many so-called "marginalized" children are very intuitive and spiritually evolved. Often diagnosed with learning differences, these kids are breaking the mold because traditional rules of education and parenting just do not fit for them. In their innocence, they are leading all of us towards changes in how people relate to each other. Whether we call them 'Indigo Children' or 'Crystal Children', they are on this planet for a special reason.

I know each day with my girls is an honour and a blessing. With our hearts linked, we are grounded and strong.

Annie Parry (nee Caswell) is a Registered Nurse (RN, BSCN), with a passion for Home Care and Community nursing. Annie is happily married to a scientist and has two "gifted/challenged" daughters aged 12 and 14 whom she calls "her teachers".

Reiki Master, practitioner of NLP and TT, Annie is a vocal advocate for both children and families with health and/or educational social issues.

Annie relocated with her family to the Santa Barbara area of California in November 2003 and can be contacted via email.

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