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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. May's Theme: "Being Present"
Volume 7 Issue 4 ISSN# 1708-3265

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 		Being Present When Not Present
by David Reber

And I know that there's one thing
Between me and nothing
Baby you are that something
That pulls me through
So I'm giving it all to you
     -Liz Phair

After I was married about two weeks a buddy of mine asked if I wanted to bartend our local German Fest' with him. He asked in an odd way though. "Do you think your wife would let you bartend one night of the festival with me?"

I met this buddy through my wife actually; he and his wife were some of the oldest friends of my sweetness herself. Also, I already ran around with him for two years as I met him practically the first week I asked "The Candle Which Guides my Soul in Darkest Night," out. He never asked if she would let me do anything before, always just if "I wanna."

It was not as though he asked that way because my honey and I suddenly lived together either. We put my wife's house up for sale a year early in anticipation of a crappy market. It actually sold fairly quickly and for about nine months, my eventual bride, the boy, and a whole construction crew all lived with me. If anything, after the construction and we finally had more than a five by five area for us and everything, my wife became less of a presence in my life! So I asked my friend why he phrased the question that way. He just laughed and shook his head at first.

"You're married now, boy." His grin was huge. "Even if she's not present, she's present!"

Then he muttered, "You're so cute at that age."

Anyway, I asked my pooky muffin if I could bartend and she replied, "Do you want to?"

"Yes."

"So go do it," she threw off a wave of her hand, in fact her whole demeanor told me she wondered why I asked her permission.

Anyway, I bartended, had a great time doing so, and just filed the whole thing away to an odd occurrence, never even gave it consideration until I learned the focus of this issue. Well, in honesty I did not even connect those two things right away. Truth told I totally procrastinated and fumed all the while because I was troubled with lack of ideas. However the deadline loomed ever more near.

I woke this morning about an hour after my wife left for work. It was a sunny morning which was exceedingly rare this time of year and I laid there for about ten minutes enjoying the silence and colour. It was about then a wonderful aroma wafted to me. My sugar-booger started one of her famous roasts in the crock pot and the whole house was filled with the smell of rich broth and seasoned meat. Absolutely wonderful! I eventually pulled my way out of the bed already smiling and thought wonderful thoughts of anticipation to all the ways that roast would get consumed. She always made a lot more than we needed for one sitting.

My next pleasant surprise that morning was the coffee maker was ready. The filter was already in with scoops of coffee and even the dash of cinnamon I like. I flipped the switch, simple… simple and wonderful.

Next I took my first cup of coffee up to our office, and can you believe it? I still did not make the connection of "Being Present When She's Not Present." You've probably already figured out my snooky-wookums was the brains of the outfit. So I took my first cup of coffee up to the computer to figure out how I would attack the rest of my day.

Upstairs, on the desk, the pile of bills and forms we usually attend, the ones normally plopped on the left hand of the desk, was now tidy and on the right side. I flipped through those and noticed her handwriting which marked them as paid or otherwise taken care of. She'd even thought to order my next three months of meds before it occurred to me I was nearly out. Still though, nothing clicked; no stunning intellectual connection on my part yet, probably because it was first thing in the morning right? So my immediate way was paved, I still had an hour 'til work, I did what I always do when I am fortunate enough to ease into a day… I turned on my colossal waste of time, my online video game. At that point, the last piece of the puzzle literally slid into place with an audible click, or rather a ring.

As I waited for my intricate form of solitaire to load, the phone rang. I saw on the caller I.D. who it was and smiled. I love hearing my Hot Betty's voice first thing in the morning. I picked right up.

Instead of saying "Good Morning," or "Hi," not even a reaction to the saucy comment I opened with about my favorite two parts of her anatomy, she merely inquired, "Where are you right now?"

"At the computer, why?"

"Good," she responded, "Are you writing your piece for Aleesha?"

"Umm…" I replied. "Yeah."

"Good," she admitted, "I did everything I could think of this morning so all you have to do is get that done."

At that point I already clicked out of electronically keeping the world safe from aliens. "Thanks, Love Monkey."

"Well you don't want to be late again."

"No I don't."

"I've got to get back to work," she told me and I could tell by her voice she indeed was rushed.

"Bye, Sweety," but she didn't hear the next part as she was already hanging up, "I love you."

Did you see that!? I swore somehow she knew! Somehow, she knew I put off my responsibilities! I could not prove it though. I supposed I could have looked outside to see if she sat in the bushes with binoculars. I already knew she was indeed at work though, unless she was crafty, brought several co-workers with her and made them talk in the background when she called. No, I am afraid to prove it I needed to ask her, and to ask revealed what I was actually doing at the time. Once revealed my wayward ways got a triumphant "HA! I knew it!" in return; and that won't do at all.

I want to talk to my friend though, I really want to ask him how long before he figured out his own pooty-pie was present when not present.


Hello, I'm David Reber. Currently I'm trying very hard to live a simple, uncomplicated life. I really enjoy tying flies or writing bad fiction in some quiet corner near where my beautiful wife is working on one of her hobbies. I also enjoy long walks with her when the weather is nice and we can take our two Siberian Husky puppies, Annie and Chloey with us - or when the huskies take us for a run would be the proper description. Then of course there is the time we spend trying to keep the refrigerator stocked ahead of "Big J", our active son and his tape worm.

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