Timeless Spirit Logo    AUNTY NASTY

A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November Theme: "Unique Perspective"
Volume 2 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Aunty Nasty
with Nasturtium Blackwitt PhD. M.E.D., F.D. (Min. H.R.D.F.), Pr. Dip. P.K.C.

Warning: Some readers may find her opinions abrasive, disturbing, or even offensive!

Hey, I'm not afraid to be unpopular or politically incorrect. "I calls it like I sees it" ~ and you all know I'm going to jump right in and take advantage of this issue's theme of "Unique Perspective."

So, buckle up your seat belts my darlings, you're in for a rough ride, because if you have the nerve to read on, you're gonna get an earful of what I think about our "Crime and Punishment" scenario here in Canada.

The whole farce of "Minimum Security Prisons" makes me want to puke. Here we are, the decent law-abiding citizen taxpayers who foot the bill, stuck with a bunch of freeloaders who have all the perks laid on.

Now don't for a moment lose sight of the fact these are supposed to be prisoners, doing time as punishment and penance for committing a crime. I don't give a darn what the crime was, if they've been proven guilty and sentenced to prison by a fair judge; they should not be enjoying a golf course, a weight room, a swimming pool and all the other amenities of a five-star resort! (Not to mention "conjugal visits").

Makes you want to spend some time at a Minimum Security Resort - (sorry, did I say resort? I meant prison). Many people can't even afford to go on vacation to a place like this for two weeks, let alone a couple of years of cushy living on the shoulders of the public.

And they get to go out to places unescorted! Now this really takes the cake. And then we wonder why we hear on the evening news about "another Minimum Security Prisoner who simply walked away". Poof! Gone! Some prison system we have here in Canada, don't you think?

Whatever happened to the days when going to prison was the most shameful thing, the ultimate disgrace? Seems "doing time" is almost something to brag about for some folks now.

And I would like to institute some even harder-nosed prison reforms. Let's talk about bringing back Capital Punishment - you know - "The Death Penalty" for Serial Killers.

A "Serial Killer" is defined as a person who takes lives repeatedly, and without remorse. If someone admits to being a serial killer, why in the heck are we taxpayers footing the bill for years and years to keep him on Death Row?

Yes, I am using the masculine gender here, because, let's face it, how many female serial killers do we know about? If this offends any of you males, well, suck it up boys and get over it! The truth is the truth!

I'm talking about these psychopaths who freely admit to being guilty of the most heinous of crimes, have been treated more than fairly by the judicial system, and finally have been sentenced to death. Oftentimes they even use the promise of revealing information about the location of more of their victims' remains to gain the leverage of more time to stay alive. (That and the book deals about their gruesome killing sprees.)

Serial killers on Death Row eat better than many of the poor working stiffs in this country, and they have access to clean running water (hot, as well as cold) their clothing is always clean, they exercise regularly, and some even whine about not getting Internet privileges for their in-room computers!

My research indicates these inmates on Death Row, when compared to the National Poverty Surveys recently commissioned, live pretty damned well.

And by the way, what's the significance of them always having triple-barrelled names? We never hear of a "Serial-killer just plain John Smith" It's always John Frederick Smith, or some other middle name. Is this a clue to something we should be thinking about when naming our babies?

So why are we waiting, (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting) to stick it to them and get it over with? What gives them the right to years and years of cushy living while good folks are starving and living on the street, because they can't get a job and support their families?

When someone is sentenced to death, and they plead guilty, no question about it, they should be done away with before the end of the working day. Never mind all this bulls**t of appeal after appeal after appeal ad infinitum. (Ad nauseum is more like it).

Our Saviour said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Too many people are afraid to speak up and join me in saying, "I am without sin, let me give the serial killer the needle!"

Aaaahhh, but here's where we come to the moral dilemma. If I volunteer to do the nasty thing and give the lethal injection, then guess what? I too am breaking one of our Lord's Commandments - "Thou shalt not kill".

And, if I should volunteer for the job of dispatching not one, but a whole whack of these people on Death Row who don't deserve to be breathing the same air as us decent folks - then… wouldn't you know it…

I would become "Nasturtium Penelope Blackwitt, SERIAL KILLER". Ooooops.

Ms. Blackwitt is a noted psychologist who specialises in dysfunctional behavioural and abnormal sociological interaction. Her column features insightful commentaries on familial relationships, as viewed from her unique perspective.

Affectionately known as 'Aunty Nasty', amongst her many honours and awards are a Ph. D in 'Mammalian Excretement Dispersal' and a Degree of Familiarity with The Ministry of Human Remains and Dysfunctional Families.

Ms.Blackwitt also served in the Armed Forces on a 6-year tour of duty as a Diplomatic Peace-Keeper in Washington, D.C., during which time she rose to the top of her team, quickly attaining the exalted rank of Private, and was subsequently transferred to Bikini Atoll, (with undisclosed rank) where she gained extensive hands-on experience in Mammalian Excrement.

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