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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November's Theme: "Faith"
Volume 3 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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The Truth Behind Revisionist Christian Christmas!!!
by Dan Pelletier

It's Christmas time… Time once again to ask the question, "Who was Gloria?"

You know, "Glor-oaaar-oaaar-oaaar-eea, in the Excelsior Deo…" And to ask, "Just what kind of place was the Excelsior Deo?"

Two thousand years ago in a dusty, backwater, one-camel Arab berg, called Bethlehem (Arabic: beit leham, meaning house of food) located only about 8 klicks south-east of Jerusalem, (an easy walk), a furniture maker and his preggo wife dropped into town without rezzies and were told "Sorry, the Inn's full up with the convention in town and all… try Jerusalem…"

Certain tomes imply that Bethlehem may have had more than one hotel, or that it was way out near East Stump Egypt. Just ain't true. It ain't Vegas, it's always been a one-camel town. So what was Joseph (our hen-pecked furniture maker) to do? Drag his virgin wife, Mary off to Jerusalem? He did the only smart thing he could do, and went for a drink.

The only place to go was a little dive called the Excelsior Deo, over on Anatreh Street. It was really busy with the convention in town, and in walked Joseph and Mary, and boy was she big… After all she was carrying the Son of God, and you don't get much bigger than God!!! (We all know that all Jewish mothers are virgins, but most are happy to have their sons grow up to be Doctors…)

There was an A Cappella Trio called 'Harold's Angels' up on stage in the hoppin' smoky joint. Two of the three female vocalists were never remembered. But Gloria we remember to this day.

Stop and think for a moment; how many musicians do you know that have a dime to their name? Two thousand years ago, it was worse. The Excelsior Deo was the only bar in a one camel town, and Gloria worked as a back-up vocalist… *clears throat* I'll let you fill in the blanks…

So in walks Joseph and Mary. Mary took that particular moment in time to break her water and Gloria, standing up there on the stage, looking over the heads of all those short little Jewish guys in the funny hats, could tell Mary was in trouble… Down from the stage she bounds (and ruins a catchy little number called "Dreidle Dreidle") and offers to let Mary and Joseph stay at her place for a few days…

You realize now, that since Gloria was only a vocalist, and did not play an instrument, her wages were quite… non-existent. Her place, crib, or abode, was as tradition holds a stable (latter day scholars contend that it was a basement storage unit).

Either way, Gloria, a musician of no means, gave. More importantly, she gave the only thing she had, to a homeless needy couple she had never met, at a time of crisis.

The three wise men (they were attending the convention, and bird-dogging Gloria) ("&#133And the three wise men followed a star…") had nothing to do with the giving of a present, other than they stumbled into the stable/basement with ill-intent, thinking Gloria was there alone (for her they had presents)… Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh… Party, Party, PARTY!

The bottom line here is that Christians like to remember this time of year because some virgin Jewish woman went into labour in a sleazy dive… But Gloria, the musician who made it all possible, was forgotten and quickly disappeared into obscurity…

Gloria… Gloria had nothing to give, but gave the only thing she had, and gave from the heart and is only remembered by the trite saying "It's better to give than receive… It's the thought that counts…"

One more point… There is the phrase "The Cattle were lowing…" Makes it sound like the cows were paying homage to little Jesus Harold Christos but… in reality a manger is a food dish for cattle ("Away in the food dish…"), and there is this squalling fire-plug urinating and defecating in their food dish, and on their food… If it was me, I'd be more than lowing!

Have a good Christian feast… And remember you cannot buy Christmas… it is not for sale…

So remember Gloria… Have a happy New Year… and a cool Yule…

Dan Pelletier lives 13 miles north of Seattle Washington with his lifemate of 19 years, Jan Welsh, his two cats, Spook and Pookha, and 31 rosebushes.

He has been reading Tarot for himself and others for over thirty years. Dan is also co-owner of The Tarot Garden, a highly respected resource for tarot decks and related information on the Internet.

He has written articles appearing on the Tarot for Life website newsletter, "Seeker's Journey," and Tarot Passages; and has published interviews with deck creators on the tarotgarden.com website library.

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