Timeless Spirit LogoDa&#133 Funny Pages'

A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November's Theme: "Faith"
Volume 3 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Da… Funny Pages!
with Jeannette Roth

Three tarot cards walk into a bar: The Lovers, The World, and The Fool. They sit down at a table in a remote corner, order some drinks, a begin having a quiet conversation among themselves.

The presence of this unusual trio does not pass without notice, however. Many of the other bar patrons continue to cast nervous glances in their direction. Finally, one of the bar regulars -- a brutish sort known for having a mean streak when drunk -- walks over to the table where the cards are sitting and clears his throat loudly. The three cards cease their chatting and look up at the large man with curiosity.

"You're not welcome here," the bully tells the three in a gruff, threatening voice. "You're bad luck. You'd best be on your way, before there's any trouble."

"There must be some mistake. You've got us all wrong," replies The Lovers card, in a sweet, melodious voice. The card then stares intently at the man, who suddenly finds that he can't help but stare back. Slowly, his heart begins to fill with a joy like he has never known. This perfect happiness expands within him, until he feels as if he might burst from the sheer ecstasy. After a few moments that seem like a lifetime, the sensation disappears, and the man's concentration returns to the three strangers at the table. Momentarily speechless, he shakes his head in disbelief.

"If you're wondering what just happened," says The Lovers card, "then know that I've provided you with a taste of perfect love. You've experienced love in its purest form, as few people on this earth have ever known it."

Now fully returned to his normal, surly self, the bully replies, "Bah! I don't know what you three are up to, but your fancy words and cheap tricks aren't going to make you any friends around here." Now scowling at The World card as he speaks, he continues: "If you're not looking for a fight, you'd best be leaving now."

Matching his gaze, The World card furrows her brow for a moment -- and suddenly, the malcontent finds himself blinded by a bright light. Slowly, shapes begin to evolve from the light, forming themselves into an undulating series of the most unbelievably heavenly sights that the man has ever been able to conceive of, let alone ever actually see. After a few moments, however, the vision fades, and he finds himself face-to-face with The World card once again.

The World, sensing his unspoken desire to know what has occurred, explains: "To show that we have nothing but the best of intentions, I have blessed you with a vision of purest beauty. Countless artists, philosophers, and seekers have spent lifetimes in search of such visions, yet very few have ever glimpsed even the smallest portion of what you have just witnessed."

Now near rage over the uninvited manipulation exercised upon him by the first two cards, the man looks The Fool card unflinchingly in the eye and growls. The Fool, appearing calm and completely unshaken by the bully's increasing displays of hostility, smiles sweetly and stares back. The man begins to feel an unusual, warm sensation in his toes, which slowly begins to work its way up his leg. Before he can be caught off guard again, the man snaps at The Fool: "So, I suppose you're going to take credit for this 'lovely' warm feeling that's creeping up on me now?"

The Fool, still smiling, innocently replies "Me? Oh, no sir. That would be my dog. He's pissing on your shoe."

Jeannette Roth has been collecting and studying tarot decks for over 20 years, and has presented lectures on topics related to tarot evolution and imagery around the midwestern U.S. for nearly 15 years. She is the co-owner of The Tarot Garden, which maintains the largest publicly-accessible database of 20th and 21st century tarot and cartomantic decks in the world.

Feel free to check out Tarot Garden's auctions on eBay!

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