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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November's Theme: "Grateful"
Volume 7 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Grateful Someone Else Has Control
by David Reber

Lonely things like nights I find
End finer with a friend…
      - Rush

I've always had sinus issues. This last year was the worst. Around last Christmas I caught a sinus infection and had it continually through the summer. Yep, I spent the entire year in and out of doctor offices culminating in surgery three weeks ago.

I laid there in that cold room on my back and stared at the ceiling as the anesthesiologist went through the questions for the fortieth time. I answered for the fortieth time and I admit, once in the operating room, away from my family and by myself in that sterile environment I was slightly nervous. I had full confidence in my doctor and the staff he was working with, but back in that room I felt as though I was no longer a person, merely a job, a task for the people who milled about. About that time the doctor showed me the hypodermic and said, "We're going to put you under now, sweet dreams."

Just as I faded I heard a door open and footsteps from someone new walking through the operating room. I never saw the newcomer. However I did hear him ask, "Anyone know where those tonsils from the last operation went?"

The last thing I heard before completely going out was my anesthesiologist, up until then the consummate professional literally bawl, "Get the hell out of here!" I was so very grateful for that. Instead of going under with that random bad thought of never waking again, I went under with a grin and a chuckle.

Next thing I remember was blinking my eyes. No big thing there except that it hurt. I opened my eyes and it was blinding white, closing them was total darkness, there was nothing in between. Hands tugged at me and someone adjusted the back support on my bed but to this day I could not tell you who did what. I just know I pitched forward and vomited. It was quite awhile into my retching before I realized none of it was hitting me… and somewhere in the dim recesses of what could almost be consciousness I was grateful for whoever had the lightning reflexes to get a container under my chin.

I started to come around a bit after that and the nurse told me I was released to go home. I could stand by then but was very grateful for several extra hands to get my clothes on. I was even more grateful for the nurse with the wheelchair who got me to the front door and unbelievably grateful to see my parent's truck out front with Mom sliding an arm under mine to take my weight as I climbed in.

The ride home was a blur but I was aware of the truck coming to a rest and swinging my head up for the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen in my whole life. I was home. By then I'd come around enough that I could walk the ten feet to the front door, but not yet coordinated enough to work my keys. Boy was I grateful to find the door unlocked. Once inside I was too grateful for words to find pillows already stacked so I could recline at the forty-five degree angle my recovery dictated.

Somewhere in the middle of the night I awoke for real. My eyes came open and the fuzz of earlier was gone.

Now comes the part I was most grateful for. Apparently my wife camped on our other couch and heard me rustling. I can not tell you how unbelievably grateful I was to see her suddenly over me, pushing my hair back from my forehead and enquiring after my well-being. So fast as if it materialized in her hand she had a pain pill and some water. Before long I was back out.

I know I beat the theme, "Grateful," into the ground, but that was kind of my intention. From the moment of entering the operating room not a single bit of my well being was in my control… I was completely at the mercy of others. Even the most basic of things I took for granted was a hurdle and at every turn someone not only anticipated, but followed through with the assistance I needed. I had every little thing taken care of for me when I could not, a whole series of moments where I could breathe easier, feel relief. I guess the best way to sum it all up is that I was unbelievably grateful for the way my family pulled together and got me through.

Hello, I'm David Reber. Currently I'm trying very hard to live a simple, uncomplicated life. I really enjoy tying flies or writing bad fiction in some quiet corner near where my beautiful wife is working on one of her hobbies. I also enjoy long walks with her when the weather is nice and we can take our two Siberian Husky puppies, Annie and Chloey with us - or when the huskies take us for a run would be the proper description. Then of course there is the time we spend trying to keep the refrigerator stocked ahead of "Big J", our active son and his tape worm.

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