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A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November's Theme: "Grateful"
Volume 7 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Past Options
by Phil Kotofskie

In the last issue of Timeless Spirit, our cat Popurrie, a didgeridoo (an Australian Aboriginal wind instrument) and I explored the source of a growth on her neck: a shared past life in which Popurrie was a woman and I her jaguar friend.

We continued daily Reiki sessions (a form of energetic healing), working with stones and of course lots of petting. Popurrie especially enjoys being petted while she eats. By now, a few months of consistent work on Po's neck had smoothed the growth's surface. However, Po and I needed to resolve our past life holds; we needed to release our grief.

Several weeks after our first didgeridoo journey, we prepared to journey again. Since our holds felt deep and rigid, Po and I planned to explore life variations in order to resolve the trauma, grateful for that option. Popurrie was a Mayan priestess named G'rinou with a lover named Matya. I was G'rinou/Po's jaguar friend, whom she called Sori. The lovers' taboo relationship and G'rinou/Po's forbidden friendship with a jaguar got them into serious trouble, often execution.

Po and I would feel for and choose satisfying, healthy variations of those same lives as G'rinou/Po and Sori/Phil the jaguar. Such changes can be viewed as manipulation of the past, but in my experience we actually move our attention among variations of a particular life.

Picture a spider web representing the variations of your present life. Your attention penetrates the trees as a sunbeam, lighting one small part of the web. The glowing strands represent life as you know it right now, this moment. When you move your attention on the web, life changes, as do your emotions. Variations of this life, for example, merge and split like trails through a forest.

I have found that we live many versions of each life, perhaps infinite variations. From images and feelings, I knew that the lives where Matya and Sori/Phil the jaguar were executed, leaving G'rinou/Po alive disturbed us most. Our grief enlarged Po's neck growth and fed my neck tightness and sinus issues.

The feeling from these lives: this wasn't meant to happen. Although anything can happen, Po, Matya and I planned for those lives to support each other and blossom. (Interesting we had no holds from variations in which we were all killed. We died together.) For thousands of years, we three held our attention on disturbing, minor variations of those lives, rather than the main, healthy, balanced version.

A main life variation can be traumatic as well. I've cleared many such lives by accepting them, constantly returning my attention to my present life. In this case, it's more a matter of allowing understanding of life's larger purpose to sink into our bones. Spirit provides understanding and peace.

Ready again for a past life journey, Popurrie, the didgeridoo and I sat down together. A didgeridoo is not required, nor is any other external device or being. We can simply sit quietly and allow images and feelings to form. Po and I journeyed with the didge because I happen to play and Po and I enjoy it. After playing for a few minutes I relaxed, trusting my body to play the didge with minimal attention.

Po fell asleep. We merged as she and I felt through life variations. G'rinou/Po and Matya's relationship violated caste law, G'rinou/Po being a priestess and Matya a merchant. G'rinou/Po's unsupervised relationship with Sori/Phil the jaguar violated religious law. Both offenses brought serious punishment, often execution. G'rinou/Po and Matya had to leave.

The strongest life thread beckoned from among countless variations:

Sori/Phil the jaguar traveled with G'rinou/Po and Matya far to the south. They met other people and settled in a riverside community. G'rinou/Po's knowledge of nature and the arts complimented Matya's mercantile skills, enabling the couple to prosper and start a family.

Years passed and by chance one of their people discovered G'rinou/Po and Matya. By then, the rules had been changed, in part due to the couple's self-exile. The people rejoiced to have found the stubborn couple who chose love over obedience. Joy, excitement and relief filled the reunion trip back home, although G'rinou/Po and Matya lived by their beloved river the rest of their lives.

In my case, as Sori the jaguar, I helped G'rinou/Po in her work and played with the village children. River turtles proved easy to catch and tasty; I died a happy old jaguar, in part due to G'rinou/Po's healing skills.

The joyous feeling of reunion and Sori/Phil dying a happy jaguar signaled completion; our grief fell away. After thousands of years, relief and gratitude filled us. Matya smiled in spirit. All was well.

As I played the didgeridoo, a certain vibration caused Po's rear leg to kick like a belly-scratched dog! She'd never done that. Her ear cocked back slightly. I played it again. Kicking leg. Trying not to laugh, I played it a few more times, watching Po's leg kick. Po flattened her ears and galloped out of the room.

Our release opened new healing options. Popurrie and I continued our healing journey loving, learning, remembering, but most of all, playing.

Playing, most of all. Meow!

Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path.

Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?"

Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Popurrie and the Stones and can be contacted via email.

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