A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. November's Theme: "Escape"
Volume 10 Issue 1 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Illuminations Aleesha Sattva and John Ptacek About the Cover Marcia McCord Suicide Aleesha Sattva The Desperate Urge to Flee Julie Hoyle Sympathy for the Devil John Ptacek Twenty Miles Martine Kincade Living… Naturally Nicole Gardner Lifetalks Dawn Baumann Brunke Walk Your Talk Aleesha Sattva Po and the Stones Phil Kotofskie Wiccan Voices Crystal Blanton, HPs Let's Talk Tarot Marcia McCord Meditate a Moment Parzival Sattva Cards & Curios Tarot Deck Reviews: with Dan Pelletier Jahta Beat DJ Drez

Recently I thought, "It sure would be nice to have a dog and cat again." A week later, I adopted an Akita puppy, because I recognized him as the dog I first felt might come to me 25 years ago! Sully is growing at around ten pounds per month. He weighs almost eighty pounds (36 kilograms) now. His dad weighs 140 pounds (63 kilograms) and his mom's a little over a hundred pounds (45 kilograms), so Sully still has some growing to do. I plan to buy a lot of dog food.

On a trip to the feed store, alert for the cat I felt waiting at the edge of my awareness, I noticed a flyer describing a cat needing a new home. He was six years old, an expert hunter and inveterate prowler with his own agenda. His energy reminded me a lot of Popurrie, my cat who passed two years ago. Amazing! I wondered how I would ever find another cat who could prowl the neighbourhood in relative safety.

The day Sully and I planned to meet the cat, I left work early in the morning and saw a smiley moon beneath Venus, with another planet far above, slightly to the right. I felt myself in the smile, Sully in Venus and the cat way out there in that other planet, yet close in time. The feeling from spirit was: There will be doubts, but remember this. I laughed. The energy and meaning were unmistakable.

Chairman Meow, the newly arrived cat, occasionally hisses and swats at Sully. Standard Bearer for the Cat People, Chairman Meow likes his name. He brings cat sensibility back into our home.

This evening, Meow left on his second prowl. He and Sully are getting to know each other. Considering they are an adult tomcat and a sociable eighty-pound puppy, this is fairly miraculous. Open areas present the biggest challenge, with Sully wanting some playful romping and Chairman not wanting some playful romping.

But given how many inner holds I have released, was it sensible to muse about having a dog and cat again? I had not prepared for them and without unconscious resistance, my desires manifest ever more rapidly. When I release a hold, it's not easy to know exactly how and where my life will be effected—part of the mystery and the fun. I knew that core holds were finally melting away, and that such healing has global effects.

Lately when I feel relaxed and enthusiastic at the thought of an experience, my inner resistance may be gone. When I lean just a bit that way, before I know it, I'm living my thoughts! The two furry guys hanging out with me came in the midst of my remembering how to recognize inner clearing completion. Our joy is the tip of an iceberg of love.

Recently, after years of "almost getting there," longstanding work discord cleared into comfortable balance. I didn't do or say anything, just stayed with my inner work, strove for integrity, teamwork and did my best. When resolution suddenly unfolded at work, I was stunned and grateful. Yet I knew it was inevitable. For years I have known that as long as I continued paying attention to thoughts and feelings—just noticing them—the only possibility was eventual balance. Yet it's taken years working at diverse jobs amid a cornucopia of uncomfortable, maddening experiences, sprinkled with hostile people.

And I can't go back. My state of being has taken years to arrive at (I can be stubborn) but inner work completed remains complete. The smallest facets of life have changed. For example, I entered a sporting goods store and checked shoes on a whim. I left with two pairs of the best-fitting shoes I've ever had. I've generally found good-fitting shoes only after years of settling for okay-fitting shoes. For me, finding two different types of shoes that fit perfectly was over the top! Then a week later at another store I found super-comfortable socks on sale and a third great-fitting pair of shoes. Huh? That's like a dream for me, and I'm wearing a pair as I write this.

So I celebrate life's impasse that inspired me to watch my thoughts and actions. Why put off until death our feeling infinite love, the ocean which permeates our being? Inner work smoothes rock cliffs into gentle beaches, allowing waves of love to wash through us, melting our icy redoubts, releasing our true essence. The house and my life are still not quite ready for a puppy's arrival, nor a cat's, but inside I am ready. Sully, Chairman Meow, and I are enjoying getting to know each other and I am grateful that even icebergs are made of love.

Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path.

Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?"

Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Sully, Chairman Meow, and the Stones and can be contacted via email.

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