Timeless Spirit LogoAUNTY NASTY

A Spiritually Enlightening Online Magazine. September's Theme: "Seeds of Inspiration"
Volume 2 Issue 6 ISSN# 1708-3265
Index Meet Our Staff Free Subscription Donations Come Shopping Advertising Archived Issues



Aunty Nasty on Inspiration!
with Nasturtium Blackwitt PhD. M.E.D., F.D. (Min. H.R.D.F.), Pr. Dip. P.K.C.

Warning: Some readers may find her opinions abrasive, disturbing, or even *gasp* offensive!

Various types of inspiration can be categorised by the causal agent. That's scientific jargon for "what brought it on".

There's Category One: Drug-induced inspiration.

Usually brought on by hefty doses of the recreational drug of choice. Commonly known as "getting stoned out of your mind". Occasionally practised as a quasi-religious ritual, such as peyote-assisted Shamanic journeys, for example. The down-side is the potential for addiction - not a pretty thought - which has been known to drive some persons to commit criminal acts in order to "feed" their drug habit.

Category Two: Alcohol-induced inspiration.

Often experienced due to an over-indulgence in booze, and sometimes referred to as being "pissed as a newt", or "drunk as a skunk" - although I've never been sure why the reference to animals comes in here - neither newts nor skunks drink alcohol - although felines are well known to get euphoric or high on catnip. (Yes, you're right, maybe the catnip example actually comes under Category One).

The downside to this category is often a head-splitting hangover the next day, causing the participant to crawl around begging to be killed to be put out of their misery. The good news is - this condition can usually be relieved by another of the bizarre animal-based-examples, known as "hair of the dog" (that bit you). Again, I have no idea where this funny idiom originated. Goodness knows - if a dog bit you, eating some of its hair certainly wouldn't do a damn bit of good, especially if it had rabies!

Category Three: Inspiration produced by fasting and/or sleep-deprivation.

Those who have endured these experiences - either on purpose or by accident - will tell you there is a certain moment at which the pain and/or discomfort recedes, being replaced by a sense of "other-worldliness" which is said can be quite euphoric or inspirational.

We also include here the sub-category of sensory deprivation, as practiced by those who willingly enter coffin-type enclosures specifically constructed for the purpose of inducing this experience. These are usually water-filled flotation tanks, laced to super-saturation with Epsom Salts, which renders even the heaviest body unsinkable. After the idiot gets in, the lid is closed, leaving them in total darkness - with the option of having music or white noise being piped in, or not. Certainly not for the faint-hearted, and if you are inclined towards claustrophobia, this is one experience you will definitely want to miss!

Then there is the phenomenon known as the "near-death-experience", where the person reports their consciousness separating from their body and being able to observe, as from a distance or floating near the ceiling, specific events and even conversations going on around their physical body. The N.D.E. has certainly inspired' a lot of folks to radically change their whole way of living and relating to the world.

Category Four: Sexually-induced states of inspiration.

You know, 'the ooooohhhhh-yeeessss-my-eyeballs-rolled-back-in-my-head' multiple-orgasm I'm sure you've all experienced at some time in your life (hopefully). So what do we need to say about this category? Is there a downside? Is it addictive? Well, my dears, it's not for me to say. I do try not to dig into people's sex-lives unless it's absolutely necessary. Technically, we still do run across the occasional case of Nymphomania, but with the rampant frequency of sexual intimacy going on these days, it's very difficult to tell a real Nymphomaniac from your average every-day enthusiastic teenager. Where's the inspiration? Perhaps it's the "I never knew I had that many nerve endings which could feel sooooo goooooood".

Category Five: Miscellaneously-induced inspired states.

Admittedly a catchall category - here we can record any number of sensory perceptions, which render one temporarily inspired. For example, listening to a favourite piece of music… "that song really sends me" (a little bit of obscure terminology for us old-fashioned folks), seeing the look on a child's face at the first snowflake of winter; savouring the aroma of freshly-baked bread, or the fragrance of a sweet-smelling rose on a summer afternoon… watching fawns play… Gee whiz, I could really wax poetic here… O.K., O.K., Enuff, already - I'm sure you have quite a few examples of your own to add to the list.

Oh yeah, and don't forget religious ecstasy! Those who experience such things will assure you hearing and/or seeing Heavenly bodies is tremendously inspirational (definitely not to be confused with the heavenly bodies in the Sexually-induced state of inspiration as described in Category Four).

Then there's the wonderful inspiration of receiving a postcard in the mail from a friend vacationing in some far-away exotic land… Haven't you been inspired to visit a place because of a photo or a postcard?

So before I go off to my next appointment with another depressed whacko, let me ask you this… How much more inspiring can you get than witnessing the daily "inspiring postcard" of a sunset? Really cheap medication, totally without harmful side effects, but do heed this warning note…

Although you can get one almost every day, and they're totally free, they do come with an obligation - they require you to experience the desire to allow yourself to expand your brain, your heart, and your horizons!

In other words… to get inspired!

Ms. Blackwitt is a noted psychologist who specialises in dysfunctional behavioural and abnormal sociological interaction. Her column features insightful commentaries on familial relationships, as viewed from her unique perspective.

Affectionately known as 'Aunty Nasty', amongst her many honours and awards are a Ph. D in 'Mammalian Excretement Dispersal' and a Degree of Familiarity with The Ministry of Human Remains and Dysfunctional Families.

Ms.Blackwitt also served in the Armed Forces on a 6-year tour of duty as a Diplomatic Peace-Keeper in Washington, D.C., during which time she rose to the top of her team, quickly attaining the exalted rank of Private, and was subsequently transferred to Bikini Atoll, (with undisclosed rank) where she gained extensive hands-on experience in Mammalian Excrement.

Copyright (c) 2005 by Timeless Spirit Magazine. All articles are the copyright of the particular writers and cannot be reprinted without their expressed permission. All rights reserved. International copyright laws prohibit reproduction of or distribution of this page by any means whatsoever, electronic or otherwise, without first obtaining the written permission of the copyright holder. We retain legal counsel to protect our copyrights.

Any advice given is for informational purposes only.