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Volume 6 Issue 6 ISSN# 1708-3265

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Our Persistent Past
by Phil Kotofskie

Years ago, I asked our cat, Popurrie, about a growth on her neck. She showed me her memory of a young man in ancient, exotic dress named Matya. Po's neck lump contained Matya's energy, a symbol of their love and eventual reunion. Although Po knew such a physical sign was unnecessary, she kept it. Occasionally, I asked Po whether the stones and I could help her heal.

No thank you, she said.

Years after Po's Matya revelation, having remembering numerous lives in which Po plays the cat and I the human, I looked at Po.

"Have I ever been the cat, with you being the human?"

Po shared a jungle scene where she, a Mayan priestess, talked with me, a jaguar. First I saw the overall scene, then I looked up at Priestess Po through jaguar eyes. Po stroked my head, ears and neck as we talked with thoughts and feelings. Suddenly I heard humans coming to harm me; I ran into the jungle.

A few days later I remembered Po and her beloved Matya were lovers in that same life!

Recently, Po agreed to the stones and I helping with her neck growth. Mighty Laser, a laserwand (a stone reminiscent of a sword or magic wand), guided us. My bathroom mirror sticky note reminded me: Remember Po's Neck. After a few weeks the growth shrank, but we were not reaching the cause.

"Let's go deeper," I said.

And you? said Po.

"I'm holding ancient wounds as well. We journey for both of us," I said.

Po and I decided to explore our shared Mayan life with waking and sleeping dream work. Waking dream work involves working with whatever images and sensations come while we are awake. In past life work, images and feelings come as we relive other lives. Once we remember and feel an event we hold, we naturally begin to release it. Obviously we are fine—we died, yet live again. Po and I lay together on the futon.

Po's name in that life is G'rinou; who calls me, her jaguar friend, Sori. Our journey began with me as Sori the jaguar:  

I walk through G'rinou's hometown, avoiding humans. I wait beneath her window. She waves! Crouching low, I leap, grab the ledge, pull, kick, flick tail. I'm inside. G'rinou smiles at my approach. My human, mine all mine!

"How are you Sori?" she says, scratching between my ears, my neck, my chin.

Ooo! I roll onto my back and she rubs my belly. Can this get any better?

"You are purring too loudly. Someone will hear." She laughs, still rubbing my belly with both hands. We share thoughts and feelings, then lie down for a few hours of dreamtime play. Tonight we play in our spirit bodies near home. She prowls with me through the jungle, then we explore the city.

Someone is coming! Cross the floor, look down, jump to ledge, to street. Mmm—rotting meat! But I can't be seen; I hurry toward the jungle.

That's as far as Po and I went. We played in dreams over the next few days.

Po came in one afternoon while I played an Australian Aboriginal instrument called the didgeridoo. The deep vibrations melted away separation, me trusting my body and the didge to continue playing. We three dreamed together with only Po asleep. Po enters her G'rinou life thinking of her lover Matya:

Matya is my dearest childhood playmate. We grow up together, share secrets, joys and sorrows. During the time of Sori's city visits, Matya and I court secretly. Ours is a forbidden love.

Mother notices Sori's fur in my bed and becomes cross with me. I don't take her fears and warnings seriously. Nobody knows I'm friends with a jaguar. We aren't hurting anybody. Mother is afraid that people might harm me. I respect my elders, but the rules regarding jaguars are ridiculous. Besides, I am a priestess."

Po's memory fades as the didgeridoo drones on, with me vaguely aware of playing. Next to Po's memory waits one of my own as Sori the jaguar:

The jungle welcomes me home. Humans clear away the jungle; I don't know why. Birds sing. Bugs sing. Plants sing. Deer sing. The great trees hum. Mmm, I smell a deer, hear her. "Munch. Munch. Munch." She eats quietly. A breeze carries the smell of chewed plant.

Step. Stop. Listen. Step. Step. Listen. Look around. Smell.

Crunch. Deer looks for more of her favorite plant, listening carefully. The jungle ripples with every movement; I move as a ripple, silent, unseen. Deer's scent speaks of readiness, willingness. She may be taken.

I approach her in spirit. I bow, then sing. Deer relaxes in my presence. She reflects on her full life in our lush jungle. I dance my hunter dance; she likes it! In my physical body I step. Step. The jungle falls silent as our energies come together.

There she is.

Not a whisker moves as I watch her. Step. A bush stands between us. Deer is small and fast. I must get close. She looks! Her ears flick. She senses my presence, but that is all. My stalk matches my free body's song and dance. She knows me.

A sunbeam lights one of her ears. Her eyes shine. She is ready. Wait. She steps, looking back the way she came. Crouch. Wait. Now!


She runs toward a low branch. Closer. Closer. Her neck! Bite! Trot to a stop. Hold her. "PurrrRrrrrRrrrrr." Her blood warms my mouth, quiets my body. What a precious being. I am honoured. Her body twitches, but my bite released her spirit body. She is safe in the waking walk. She looks at me, eyes sparkling.

You are an impeccable hunter, big cat. Thank you for your gift.

In reply I sing and dance in my spirit body, celebrating her gift and her return. I eat, alert for other cats and humans.

Po and the didge live the hunt with me. My noisy takeoff amuses Po. Unlike her, I have no competition aside from rogue jaguars and occasional humans. Po springs quietly upon mice. Quiet cats hold an advantage in the desert, among larger predators and humans. I recall Po's huge, fierce cat presence when she first moved in.

You are not food only because of your size, she said when irritated with me. Her large cat preference impractical, she came as a small, calico cat.

G'rinou's life flashes before me, jumbled images, sensations, Matya prominent, but vague. I'm G'rinou looking at Sori and me looking at Po simultaneously. I sway between perspectives, shift around and around. Po sleeps on the floor, but it's me, Sori, but I'm G'rinou watching Sori sleep, who in spirit body gazes upon his beloved G'rinou.

Eventually the didge lies next to Po. Po breathes deeply. I sit quietly, my viewpoint flowing between this life and the other, my lives and Po's. Hints of what happen to Matya, G'rinou and Sori swirl like mist.

Po woke up one happy cat! She and I were on the way to discovering and resolving the wounds in that life that remained in our bodies. Next time Po and I will share how we resolved and released our holds in that life.

If you explore other lives, consider keeping your current life first priority. After all, you are here. If you'd like to read about past life work, I recommend Denise Linn's Past Lives, Future Miracles. Denise covers all the bases using an open, welcoming approach, with abundant examples and exercises. For dream work, you might start with Dreamways of the Iroquois, by Robert Moss. Dreamways offers an open doorway to dream work, and Robert's dream guides gladly help us as well.

My non-human friends and I wish you pleasant, mysterious, revealing journeys.

Phil Kotofskie is a longtime student of life. His sharing is based on years of working with himself in diverse jobs and relationships ranging from Army Soldier to Overnight Grocery Stocker, from spouse to stranger. His specialty is everyday life as a spiritual path.

Phil is a Reiki Master who offers healing assistance and a musician who plays didgeridoo and West African drums. He is currently finishing a book with the Stones that guides the reader to answer the question "Who am I?"

Phil lives in Tucson, Arizona with Popurrie and the Stones and can be contacted via email.

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